Inner Experience-Pt 2,Ch 1

"I cant go on,I moan,
I can no longer bear
My prison.
I say this bitterly:
words which stifle me-
leave me,
release me,
I thirst
for something else.
I want Death
and not to admit of
this reign of words,
continuity
without dread,
such that dread
be desirable;
it is nothing
this self which I am,
if not
cowardly acceptance
of what is.
I hate
this life of instrument,
I search for a fissure,
my fissure,
in order to be broken.
I love rain,
lightening,
mud,
a vast expanse of water,
the depths of the earth,
but not me.
In the depths of the earth,
O my tomb,
deliver me from myself,
I no longer want to be."